MY POLITICAL QUANDRY

We have a general election soon here in England and as I have recently had a lot of time to kill due to an accident, I have been reading a great deal of political party news stories. I have never been a supporter of any party “just because that’s whom my dad voted for” and I don’t have the instilled hatred born of being massively effected by a ruling parties actions.

I have voted in many directions over the years, the party who offer what I think I want to happen gets my vote, Simple… Well no not really. This time around, I have had the time to investigate the available choices and I have to say, I’m not overwhelmed with their quality.

Let’s start with the Green Party. For no other reason other than I didn’t want to start with any of the larger parties. OK, the greens. They appear to be a bit silly, they don’t seem to have any answers to important questions like the national debt or how to fix it. Their candidates are portrayed as dotty and forgetful in a “bless em” patronising sort of way. They do seem to be gathering a following but this appears to be out of sympathy. They will not be getting my vote.

Liberal Democrat. Nick Clegg seems to have managed to singlehandedly shoot the party in the head by getting into bed with the Conservatives. Granted, the last election was a hung parliament and the big parties needed assistance but 5 years of shared power has reduced the Lib Dems to snivelling, untrustworthy scroungers begging at the Conservatives table. They have suffered some absolute hammerings in recent by-elections and it would appear their supporters view them as sell-outs. They will not be getting my vote.

Labour. Well this is just becoming embarrassing, Ed Milliband is a weakling, he shows no leadership and appears to be being controlled by stronger personalities in the party. He continually preaches how the Conservatives have broken the country while trying to dodge the facts that his party, while being run by an unelected (by the country) leader (Brown) presided over the worst financial crisis in living memory. Their policies don’t add up, nor do their recollections of the past. The wrong brother won the leadership contest. They will not be getting my vote.

Conservative. Liars, thieves, out of touch and many more negatives describe the Conservatives. They promised things at the last General Election that they have blatantly ignored or denied. Many of the cuts they have foisted upon the country have been necessary but they have continued to line their own pockets. Questionable deals with companies that have links to party donations and stealing from the country to fund their lavish life styles (expenses). They will not be getting my vote.

United Kingdom Independence Party. Do I have enough words… Racist, Bigoted, Deluded etc. Mr Farage is a master of deception. Recently however he seems to be unravelling. He uses the nations anger at the EU membership to promote his parties racist views. Unfortunately he is the only politician that is using language that the angry and disenfranchised relate with and his strategy is working. Blaming immigrants for ALL of the UKs problems is dishonest and misleading but there are many who believe his drivel. They will not be getting my vote.

The other parties are too obscure to take seriously so I think voting for them would be a wasted vote.

I personally want the UK to leave Europe as I believe membership costs far too much compared to any benefits it brings. Not just in monetary terms, having laws imposed on us that have been drafted in a foreign country is nonsense. To think that a law can be suitable for every country is ludicrous unless they share all the same laws.

Immigration is a problem for every country, the UK does need to tighten controls, but the main problem isn’t the amount of immigrants, it’s how the money is distributed, giving people benefits, housing preference and free health care who have never paid into the system is questionable, this should also apply to the indigenous population. If someone wants to come to the UK to earn an honest wage, how can you fault them, if the lion’s share of their earnings is leaving the country to support extended family, that’s when you have problems. The economy can only suffer under such conditions.

I couldn’t bring myself to vote for Milliband, he has nothing to offer, I see him as a follower not a leader. I won’t vote for Cameron even though he is offering a referendum on Europe I don’t think it will ever happen, I see him as a compulsive liar. I won’t vote green, would you? Clegg isn’t high on my list either, he has proved himself directionless. That leaves UKIP and Farage, while I agree we need an answer to Europe, I can’t stomach some of the things he and his colleagues stand for.

So where do I go from here, Labour have no answers, Conservative will lie about their answers, Lib Dem will follow the winner, UKIP will be hung over and the Greens will be having tea in a forest somewhere.

Craig

A YEAR IN PAIN AND GOOD STUFF

Two massive things happened to me in 2014. The first was I had quite a serious accident at work resulting in an injury to my neck. I was driving a fork lift truck and somehow a collapsed man hole had been covered with a sheet of plywood. Obviously the ply didn’t stand a chance against my fork truck and 1 ton load, the left front wheel disappeared down said hole resulting in the fork truck almost tipping. Unfortunately, as the truck righted itself, it came back down to earth with a bang and I was thrown around like a rag doll. I have a bone in my shoulder/neck area that now has to be ground down as it is compressing the nerves in my right shoulder. This compression has kept me in considerable pain for almost a year. I have had constant neck pain, massively restricted head and arm movement and a very low tolerance for cold temperatures. I have been on and off work for nearly a year but thankfully, I will be having surgery withing the next few weeks, I will hopefully be able to return to work after a period of recovery. I am currently taking Solpadol, Gabapentin, Naproxin and Tramadol all at the same time, 3 times a day. Needless to say I’m not driving, drinking or doing a great deal of anything else just now.

The second big event was that my fiancé Steph and I were passed as foster carers and have had the pleasure of fostering a number of smashing kids, unfortunately for us only temporarily. We have had to change a lot of our routines or non routines, let me explain. When it’s just us, we can eat when we get hungry, wander around the house in the bare scuddy if the feeling takes us, swear when stubbing toes and generally be as bohemian as we like. Suddenly there’s a kid in the house and all that changes. We have a “meal time”, you can’t have tea at 8pm if you’ve got a little one that goes to bed at 7:30pm. I now have to wear boxers to bed in case of emergency Night time intruders.  I have to hunt around in the dark for a dressing gown if I need to pee in the night and find that by the time I have acquired the illusive garment, stubbed the obligatory toe, managed not to shout obscenities at the bed post, pee’d then returned to bed I’m fully awake and remain so for at least an hour. I love it.

We went to Tunisia in June 2014, we won’t be rushing back. The sunshine and temperatures were fabulous, the hotel was beautiful, the pool was tranquil, the room was pleasant and the company (Steph) was wonderful. But… There’s always a but. As soon as you step outside of your hotel complex, you are immediately accosted be the local scroungers. “You remember me, I’m the chef from your hotel” seemed to be the mantra. Our hotel had 64 rooms and seemingly 2000 chefs. We got a taxi to Hammamet one day, about 45 minutes so 30 miles, I was still closing the taxi door when the first one said “you remember me etc”. Our hotel was very upmarket which had the unfortunate side effect that it had no entertainment to speak of in the evenings. They did provide a projector and screen to show the World Cup but as anyone who knows me will tell you, I don’t do football. We went to the beach one day as I’m a bit of a fanny when it comes to sand between my toes and surprisingly, I really enjoyed it. I did however get burnt to a crisp and while walking around Nabul market the next day, fell asleep on a shop steps while Steph browsed. We won an all expenses meal for two in the best restaurant in Hammamet, we were collected from the hotel, taken to Hammamet and had a fantastic evening which is one of many good memories of the holiday, it’s just a shame that the area has so many problems as we will not return. Everywhere you look there are piles of rubbish and discarded plastic bottles, mountains of the things, there is the pushy sales tactics of the poor sods that work in the medinas, yes I know they’re only trying to earn a living but we would have spent 10 times what we did if they had only left us alone. 

We got chickens. While I have been unable to work, I have had to try to keep myself busy with little projects that I can spend a half our a day on. One of these projects was a chicken coop. The work involved would normally have taken me no more than 4 or 5 hours to build, it took 4 weeks. However we now have two little beauties called Kip and Frango (Dutch and Portugese for chicken) plopping out an egg each every day. There really is nothing better than fresh home grown eggs

I have completed the 3D Background on my fish tank and it looks awesome, unfortunately it is a little neglected and I may have to get rid of it as I’m in too much pain to maintain it. It’s too deep for me to reach in to and it isn’t fair to ask Steph to look after it for me as she has to do everything else.

My friend came and finished building my shed for me as I was unable to do that myself, too heavy for me in this state so a huuuuge thank you to Dave Drury, I now have a man cave to do secret man things in. Among those secret man things there is learning to use an airbrush, for painting RC car bodyshells. I’ve built a vacuum forming box for making RC car bodyshells oh and I’ve got quite good at tuning RC car Nitro engines. I’ve had to shelve that hobby though as I can’t pull the pull starters anymore. Roll on surgery… I have had a little foray into RC flying but I struggle to look up so again, shelved.

I’ve recently started the training to get my Foundation Amateur Radio License, 2 hours on a Tuesday night for 8 weeks and then I’ll be allowed to use pretty much all of the ham bands with upto 10 watts of power. I discovered a thing called PSK31, basically using a computer and a radio to send instant messages around the world. I have spent a fair amount of time listening and decoding to learn how it’s done and once I have my license, I’ll be allowed to transmit and take part. It may sound dull but I’ve always been interested in radio and computers and have now found a way to use them together.

Stephs grandma collected the token from the Sun newspaper for the £9 holidays. Very sceptically I was persuaded to go to Scotland for the weekend with our friends (Dave and Steph) yes we both have a Steph. We went to Southerness Holiday Park near Dumfries and I must say, I was pleasantly surprised. Not with the holiday camp thing but the fact we got a luxury caravan for 4 people in a stunning part of the Scottish coast for £40 for 3 nights. My neck injury means I can’t travel for long periods so the journey was broken up into hour long chunks but we made it and thoroughly enjoyed it. We went rock pooling (I think that’s what it’s called), my Steph held a crab… Dave took us on the longest walk in the history of man to find a bird watching hide (yes, he’s a twitcher, he’s a really nice bloke otherwise) and we saw loads of interesting wildlife, again I was most surprised that I enjoyed it as I’m not famouse for being an outdoorsman. 

We’ve collected them ourselves this time and have booked a weekend near Alnwick Castle. I worked up that way many moons ago so I’m looking forward to visiting as a tourist. While we are there, the Stephs want to go to Edinburgh zoo, it’s about an hour and a half from where we’re staying but the trip can be done with a couple of stops and it’ll be a nice day out. I think it’s June or July we’re going so hopefully the weather will be decent.

My brother gave me a tent. This thing is brilliant, it has 4 poles and about 40 pegs and from start to finish we can put it up, install the ground sheets and bedroom and inflate the mattress and living room furniture (yes Steph bought inflatable chairs and foot stools) in under half an hour. We went to Blackpool for the illuminations switch on in September or October and I was worried that my neck would be too painful to go camping as I hadn’t been in years but the air bed that we bought is ace, it inflates using a pump that plugs into the socket in the car in about 5 minutes and stays solid all night. Steph had never been camping before and was terrified that the wildlife would eat her. It didn’t… We stayed on a tiny camp site 3 miles from Blackpool tower, it has a little shop, toilets and showers and a little swing park for the kids. It was brilliant. The tent is literally a place to sleep when you’re away but this thing is massive so you can actually be comfortable in it. Steph even cooked a full English breakfast one morning on the little gas stove. She suggested we go to the zoo one day, I think zoos are crap, or at least I did, I realised I’d never actually been to a proper zoo and was massively impressed at how the animals enclosures are set up. Yeah I know they should be roaming free but they’re not so get over it, I did. Anyway, I bought Steph a new camera for her birthday and we took it with us, the zoom on the thing is incredible and some of the photos are National Geographic quality. There’s one of a lion lounging in the sun and the zoom got us right  up close, it looks like we are standing over the beast when in reality we were 20 or 30 meters away. We got ice creams and as we were walking by the orangoutang enclosure, I noticed one of them was staring at me, every time I took a lick of ice cream it did the same, I then stuck my tongue out and it copied me. We and the people around us were in stitches but then it put its hand out as if begging for my ice cream and it made me feel a little bad that they were locked up. It seemed so human. I came face to face with a Silverback Gorilla, there was a piece of 30mm Perspex separating us and this big fella literally stared me down. He seemed happy with his bamboo or whatever it was he was munching on. Pussycat Dolls were the “entertainment” during the Illuminations switch on and Peter Kay was the switchee, they were shite and he was on stage for about 1 minute and didn’t do any comedy.

So there you go, my year in a few words. There are other things going on just now that I still can’t mention but I will at some point in the not too distant future.

Cheerio

Craig

LONG TIME NO SEE

Well WordPress has been a little neglected, OK, A lot neglected. 1 post in 2014. There are reasons for that. I have had a pretty crap year in some respects but there have been some amazing things happen too. Most of which needed to be kept to myself at the time. I’m now able to talk about a few of the things and will follow this post with a few stories of what’s been going on. 

Anyway, I’m back.

Craig

GANG USES STOLEN DOGS FOR DOGFIGHTING

Hi everyone and Happy New Year. Yes it’s a bit late, I haven’t had a great deal to say so I haven’t said anything. Today however, I have something to say.

I’m getting a bit tired of all the dog theft posts I keep seeing on Facebook and Twitter. With just a little investigation most of them are shown to be scare mongering hoaxes. One I looked into had been reported in exactly the same text and format from as far apart as England, holland, Russia, USA and Canada. The headline grab isn’t DOG STOLEN it’s GANG USES STOLEN DOGS FOR DOGFIGHTING. What a load of bolocks. The headline got you here didn’t it?

Yes dogs are stolen but if you check the breeds that are going missing you will notice a pattern. The majority of breeds that are stolen are the little handbag type yappies as they are very easy to resell. You will also notice a lot of the show-off type breeds like Akitas and Huskies, again because of their resell value.

No Staffordshire Bull Terriers are being stolen as they are unfavourably common and the resell value is nil, A Staffy pup can be picked up for nothing on Facebook so why go steal one? And if you were using dogs for dog fighting, surely you would want something that would at least exercise your mighty K9 destroyer and not run the risk of it chocking on poopoo’s diamanté collar.

This problem is an extension of the “Backyard Breader” issue. If you had to be licensed to breed dogs then you wouldn’t have all of these unqualified idiots letting two dogs shag then trying to sell the pups for a grand a time.

I am the owner of a large thorough bred dog and I got her at 6 weeks old. As soon as her first season had ended I had her spayed. So many people said to me “you could get £500 per pup from her”. My opinion is that if you had to have a certain qualification to get the breeder license, you would cut down on the backyard breeders, you would then cut down on the amount of unwanted dogs going to the RSPCA and other dog rescue centres.

I also think that bitches should be spayed and dogs should be neutered as a matter of course. There is no need for the animal to have the reproductive ability if you are not going to breed from it. If you didn’t have the license to breed then you wouldn’t be allowed to anyway.

Yes I can hear a lot of voices saying “it’s my right to choose” but no it isn’t, it is proven that neutering helps in the majority of cases to reduce aggression in dogs and spaying reduces the risk of certain cancers in bitches. If you want to breed from your own dogs then you would need a license. The penalty for unlicensed breeding should be all animals removed from the home and a complete ban on keeping an animal, no matter how small, for 10 years. It would need to be harsh to enforce it. A mandatory 2 year prison term for those who ignore the ban with their assets being seized to pay for their prison stay would reinforce how we as a nation feel about or four legged buddies.

To get such licenses, as I mentioned earlier, one would need to gain some form of dog husbandry qualifications. This would also eliminate things like interbreeding and would go a long we to reforming the Kennel Club (KC). The KC actively ignore Father/Daughter, Mother/Son and Sibling/Sibling inbreeding to the point that many many breeds of dog are unrecognisable from their original strains. Along with this inbreeding comes the inevitable health issues.

In German Shepherds for example you see Hip Dysplasia and Elbow Dysplasia. This results in the hind quarters of the dog colapsing. In King Charles Spaniels you see Syringomyelia. This is caused by the skull being to small for the brain and has been proved to cause the animal serious suffering. Who in their right mind would allow someone who is willing to do this to a dog to become a breeder or a judge at a dog show? Let alone be responsible for a dogs welfare.

There are other stories of a property being marked with coloured stickers on the garden gate or the letter K being chalked on the path outside a house that contains a desirable dog. Again there have been reports of this from all over the world on social media but no official Police reports have been filed.

So please, please, please. Before you go and click SHARE, have a quick look on Google and see if the subject you are about to pollute my timeline with has been hoaxed. If it has, the chances are you are going to look a bit silly at best, at worst you could be distributing false or illegal information and you could leave yourself open to ridicule or even prosecution.

I feel better for that.

Thanks for reading
Craig xx

3D DIY Aquarium Background

The Origins of Hogmanay

Did You Know?

– New Year’s Eve – Hogmanay

What does Hogmanay actually mean and what is the derivation of the name? Why do the Scots more than any other nation celebrate the New Year with such a passion? Why should a tall dark stranger be a welcome first foot visitor after midnight, carrying a lump of coal and a slice of black bun?

Read on …………
The Origins of Hogmanay

A guid New Year to ane an` a` and mony may ye see!
While New Year’s Eve is celebrated around the world, the Scots have a long rich heritage associated with this event – and have their own name for it, Hogmanay.

There are many theories about the derivation of the word “Hogmanay”. The Scandinavian word for the feast preceding Yule was “Hoggo-nott” while the Flemish words (many have come into Scots) “hoog min dag” means “great love day”. Hogmanay could also be traced back to the Anglo-Saxon, Haleg monath, Holy Month, or the Gaelic, oge maidne, new morning. But the most likely source seems to be the French. “Homme est né” or “Man is born” while in France the last day of the year when gifts were exchanged was “aguillaneuf” while in Normandy presents given at that time were “hoguignetes”. Take your pick!

In Scotland a similar practice to that in Normandy was recorded, rather disapprovingly, by the Church.

“It is ordinary among some Plebians in the South of Scotland, to go about from door to door upon New Year`s Eve, crying Hagmane.”
Scotch Presbyterian Eloquence, 1693.
Hogmanay Traditional Celebrations
Historians believe that we inherited the celebration from the Vikings who, coming from even further north than ourselves, paid even more attention to the passing of the shortest day. In Shetland, where the Viking influence was strongest, New Year is called Yules, from the Scandinavian word.

It may not be widely known but Christmas was not celebrated as a festival and virtually banned in Scotland for around 400 years, from the end of the 17th century to the 1950s. The reason for this has its roots in the Protestant Reformation when the Kirk portrayed Christmas as a Popish or Catholic feast and therefore had to be banned. Many Scots had to work over Christmas and their winter solstice holiday was therefore at New Year when family and friends gathered for a party and exchange presents, especially for the children, which came to be called hogmanay.

There are traditions before midnight such as cleaning the house on 31st December (including taking out the ashes from the fire in the days when coal fires were common). There is also the superstition to clear all your debts before “the bells” at midnight.

Immediately after midnight it is traditional to sing Robert Burns’ “For Auld Lang Syne”. Burns claimed it was based on an earlier fragment and certainly the tune was in print over 80 years before he published his version in 1788.

“Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup o kindness yet, for auld lang syne.”

An integral part of the Hogmanay partying, which continues very much today, is to welcome friends and strangers, with warm hospitality to wish everyone a Guid New Year. The underlying belief is to clear out the vestiges of the old year, have a clean break and welcome in a young, New Year on a happy note.

“First footing” (that is, the “first foot” in the house after midnight) is not as common as it used to be in Scotland. To ensure good luck for the house, the first foot should be male, dark (believed to be a throwback to the Viking days when blond strangers arriving on your doorstep meant trouble) and should bring symbolic coal, shortbread, salt, black bun and whisky. These days, however, whisky and perhaps shortbread are the only items still prevalent (and available).

“Handselling” was the custom of gift giving on the first Monday of the New Year but this has died out.

Torch and Bonfire Ceremonies
The magical Firework display and torchlight procession in Edinburgh – and throughout many cities in Scotland – is reminiscent of the ancient custom at Scottish Hogmanay pagan parties hundreds of years ago.

The traditional New Year ceremony of yesteryear would involve people dressing up in the hides of cattle and running around the village being hit by sticks. The festivities would also include the lighting of bonfires, rolling blazing tar barrels down the hill and tossing torches. Animal hide was also wrapped around sticks and ignited which produced a smoke that was believed to be very effective to ward off evil spirits. The smoking stick was also known as a Hogmanay.

Some of these customs do continue, especially in the small, older communities in the Highlands and Islands of Scotland where tradition, along with language and dialect are kept alive and well. On the Isle of Lewis, in the Outer Hebrides, the young boys form themselves into opposing bands, the leader of each wears a sheep skin, while a member carries a sack. The bands move through the village from house to house reciting a Gaelic rhyme. On being invited inside, the leader walks clockwise around the fire, while everyone hits the skin with sticks. The boys would be given some bannocks – fruit buns – for their sack before moving on to the next house.

One of the most spectacular Fire ceremonies takes place in Stonehaven, just south of Aberdeen on the North East coast. Giant fireballs, weighing up to 20 pounds are lit and swung around on five feet long metal poles, requiring 60 men to carry them as they march up and down the High Street. The origin of the pre-Christian custom is believed to be linked to the Winter Solstice of late December with the fireballs signifying the power of the sun, to purify the world by consuming evil spirits.

And it is worth remembering that January 2nd is a holiday in Scotland as well as the first day of the year – to give us all time to recover from a week of merry-making and celebration, all part of Scotland’s fascinating cultural legacy of ancient customs and traditions surrounding the pagan festival of Hogmanay.

Thanks for reading
Craig xx

Merry Christmas

I would just like to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone I know and everyone I haven’t met yet xxx

Thanks for reading
Craig xx

9 Christmas Folded Napkins

Here are a few ideas for your Christmas dinner table that will bring a little something different.

The Crown

Making the “Crown” is as simple as following 8 easy steps.

1. Lay out a square napkin, and begin by folding it up diagonally to form a triangle.

2. Fold up each of the bottom corners, to meet the point at the top. If your napkin isn’t perfectly square, just do the best you can with what you have.

3. Now fold the bottom point, three quarters of the way up,

4. then fold it back on itself so the point is back at the bottom.

5. Go ahead and flip it over

6. Take one of the back edges, and fold it a third of the way in.

7. The other side, folds over next and is secured by tucking the corner into the flap at the bottom.

8. Flip it over one more time, and now just peel the two sides down like you’re peeling a banana.

Open the base, stand it upright, and your cloth crown is finished.

This simple fold is quick and easy, and can add a very elegant touch to your table settings.

If you don’t have any cloth napkins, try using paper napkins instead.

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The Candle

To fold the candle, we’re going to follow 8 simple steps.

1. Start with a square napkin, and turn it slightly so that one point is facing up.

2. Now take the bottom tip, and fold it up toward the top until the two corners match. This should form a rough triangle.

3. The next step is fold the base up just a couple of inches and press it down flat.

4. At this point, we can flip the whole thing over, so the triangle is pointing to the left.

5. Take the bottom point and fold it up so the tip is just past the center.

6. Start rolling the whole thing into a tube, starting from the bottom, and working toward the top. When your roll is finished, you might want to push the uneven ends back into the tube, then tuck the loose end, neatly into the cuff. This should give you a nice sturdy base to hold your napkin upright.

7. To finish off, just turn one layer of the tip down.

8. Then shape the the other layer to look like a flame.

Now your candle looks like it’s burning, with a bit of wax dripping off the top. It’s completely finished, and ready to impress.

Now if you don’t have cloth napkins, try making this with a paper napkin instead. It works just as well, as long as your gentle, and are careful not to tear the paper.

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Simple “Silverware Pouch”

We can make a fancy silverware pouch in just 6 easy steps.

1. Start at the bottom of a square napkin, and fold the two corners up, so the edges line up at the top.

2. Now take the the right side, and fold the napkin in half again, to form a square.

3. Fold the top left corner, of the top layer, down to the opposite side.

4. Go ahead and flip the whole thing over.

5. Fold the right side a third of the way in.

6. Then fold the left edge back over top and tuck the bottom corner, down inside the pocket on the other.

When it’s flipped right-side-up, you can see the pouch is completely finished, so just add some silverware and set it out to impress.

Of course, if you don’t have any cloth napkins, these folds will work just as well, with paper napkins, and plastic utensils.

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The Pyramid

The “Pyramid” is simple, and can be done in just 6 easy steps.

1. Lay out a square napkin, and begin by folding it up diagonally to form a triangle.

2. Fold up one of the bottom corners, to meet the point at the top.

3. Do the same thing with the point on the other side.

4. Flip the whole thing over.

5. Now just fold it in half from the top to the bottom.

6. Lift it from the center, so that it folds in on itself.

When you stand it upright, your decorative napkin pyramid is finished.

You can probably guess that this will work with paper napkins as well.

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The Elf Shoe

We can make the “Elf Shoe” in 8 fairly simple steps.

1. Fold a square napkin in half, from the bottom to the top.

2. Then fold it again from the top to the bottom.

3. Now find the center, and fold the two sides in, the same way you’d fold a paper airplane.

4. Go ahead and continue this idea, by folding the sides in again, forming a sharp point at the tip.

5. At this point, the two halves can fold over on each other, and when you flatten them out, check which side is open, and make sure it’s facing to the bottom.

6. Now focus on the loose parts at the back, and fold the top layer up and out of the way.

7. The bottom layer folds in half, then wraps over the top layer, tucking neatly into the little flap in the side of the shoe.

8. All that’s left now, is to turn down the loose material sticking up at the top, to form a little cuff.

Your little elf shoe napkin is finished and ready for showing off.

If you try making one out of a paper napkin it will probably look something like this.

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The Basket

To make the “Basket”, we’re going to follow 7 steps.

1. First off, go ahead and fold a square napkin diagonally, to form a triangle.

2. Fold the base up about 3 or 4 inches from the bottom.

3. Now flip the whole thing over so the triangle is pointing to the left.

4. Take the top point and fold it down so it’s just short of the bottom by a couple of inches.

5. Fold the bottom point, a few inches past the top edge, and tuck it around the backside of the pouch.

6. Fold the point of the top layer, down over the front of the pouch.

7. Fold the back layer, down over the back side.

Go ahead and straighten up the edges, fluff up the pouch a bit, and your basket is finished.

If you tie a ribbon around the top, it adds an amazing amount of stability, and of course the same folds will work on paper napkins as well. Well now you know how to fold a decorative napkin basket.

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The Rose

The “Rose” can be folded in just 6 easy steps.

1. Get started with a square napkin, and fold each of the 4 corners into the center as best you can. Most napkins aren’t perfectly square, but just do the best you can, with what you’ve got.

2. The next step is to take the 4 new corners, and fold them into the center as well.

3. Now just hold everything together at the middle, and flip the napkin over.

4. Let’s repeat the process again, by taking these 4 corners, and folding them into the middle like we did the the others.

5. Ok, we’re just about done, so to finish up, hold the center firmly with one hand, and gently pull the tips from underneath the corners, until they look like flower petals.

6. When you’ve done this to each of the 4 corners, do the same thing, to the undersides of the edges. This will make little points stick out between your rose petals, and give the whole thing a nice symmetrical balance.

This adds an amazing decorative flare to your dinner presentation, and if you don’t have any cloth napkins, these can look great with paper napkins as well.

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Bird of Paradise

To make the “Bird of Paradise”, we’re going to follow 8 simple steps.

1. To get started, go ahead and fold a square napkin into quarters, and turn it so the open ends are pointing away from you.

2. Now fold the bottom end up to the top so it forms a triangle.

3. Flip the whole thing over.

4. Next we’ll need to fold the two sides in so they meet in the middle, which should be easy to do if you think of like folding a paper airplane.

5. When the two sides are flattened out, flip it over again.

6. Fold the two triangular tabs at the back, in toward the center.

7. Now just fold the triangle in half lengthwise, and cradle it in your hand so that the open ends are facing into your palm.

8. Go ahead and peel back each of the 4 layers inside, and when they’re spaced the way you want them, your fancy napkin, is ready to dazzle.

This looks awesome with a cloth napkin, but I found you can make it with a paper napkin as well. Just be gentle when you pull the layers apart so they doesn’t rip.

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The Bishops Hat

We can make the Bishop’s Hat in 8 easy steps.

1. Start by folding a square napkin in half from top to bottom, and crease it in the middle.

2. Now fold the bottom left corner up to the middle of the top edge.

3. Fold the top right corner to the middle of the bottom edge.

4. Go ahead and flip it over.

5. Fold one of the edges, up to meet the other, then pull the point out from under the top fold.

6. To finish up, just crease the left side triangle in half, and tuck it into the fold of the other.

7. Now flip it over again.

8. Repeat the same thing on the other side, and when that’s tucked into place, gently pull the napkin open at the bottom, and set it upright.

You can see these are simple to make, and setting them on your dinner plates, adds a dash of class.

If you try this with a paper napkin, it will probably turn out something like what you see here.

Thanks for reading
Craig xx

The Tabloids are at it again

I think the Daily Mirror are getting very close to the line that is blatantly making stories up, yes we’re all quite aware that it is a Labour skewed hack rag and will pretty much do anything to attack a Conservative or Lib Dem government. The scary thing is that it thinks it acceptable to miss-quote, twist and generally fog what has been said.

I’m almost certain these tabloids try to be as scummy as possible but in my humble opinion, this is reflected in the people who pay good money to read their dross.

And why does everything have to be a GATE. Jumpergate, Plebgate, gofuckyourselfgate. The sensationalist idiots should be rounded up and dropped into Syria or Afganistan to learn how to be proper reporters and learn the difference between real news and the self indulgent claptrap they write on a daily basis.

Jumpergate – the story that wasn’t

By Chris Mason – Political correspondent

This week at Westminster has been dominated by one topic: energy prices.

It is a case study of the biggest theme in politics at the moment, the cost of living.

With British Gas joining energy provider SSE in hiking its prices, what are people feeling the squeeze and fearing the cold supposed to do?

Enter, stage left, the humble jumper. And welcome to a brief snapshot of how headlines sometimes appear despite what might have emerged out of the lips of politicians and their advisers.

Energy Secretary Ed Davey spent much of Thursday touring TV and radio studios criticising British Gas and suggesting people should shop around for the best energy deal.

In an interview on the BBC’s Newsnight, he was asked about what happened in the Davey household.

Great story
Did Mr Davey, presenter Jeremy Paxman asked, wear a jumper?

“I am sure people do wear jumpers, I wear jumpers at home, but you are missing the point here Jeremy, we do need to help people with their bills, I am extremely worried about them, we can use competition the way we have, we can make our homes warmer and use less electricity and gas by going more energy efficient,” said Mr Davey.

Cue headlines suggesting the energy secretary said wear a jumper. Great story.

Energy Secretary Ed Davey was quizzed about his knitwear preferences
Except he didn’t say this. Mr Davey was asked about jumpers. Mr Davey mentioned jumpers. But Mr Davey didn’t say you or I should wear a jumper.

Fast forward 12 hours to Friday’s briefing for Westminster journalists, which is conducted by one of the prime minister’s official spokesmen.

The Daily Mirror – which is no fan of the coalition government – chased this theme with some vigour.

The clear aim of the questions was to attempt to get an answer along the lines of “the prime minister tells you to wear jumper”.

Another great story
If he’d said that, I’d have been jumping at the chance to get on the television, radio and online to tell it.

But he didn’t.

Here is the exchange, as I scribbled it in my notebook:

Reporter: “Does the prime minister wear a jumper at home?”

Official Spokesman: “The prime minister doesn’t tend to give fashion tips.”

Several further questions along the same lines came along, which didn’t get very far.

The spokesman was then asked about what the PM thought of charities giving advice that perhaps people should consider wrapping up warm.

Here was the response: “Clearly, he is not going to prescribe necessarily the actions individuals should take about that. But if people are giving that advice, that is something that people may wish to consider.”

Next came the headlines claiming the prime minister was suggesting people should wear a jumper. Great story.

Except the spokesman did not say this.

Labour leapt at the chance to have their say, claiming Downing Street was in chaos and offering Ed Miliband for interview.

Downing Street then issued a statement: “To be clear, it is entirely false to suggest the Prime Minister would advise people they should wear jumpers to stay warm. Any suggestion to the contrary is mischief-making.”

And so concludes the story of a story which isn’t really a story at all.

BBC © 2013

I’m no supporter of the coalition government, I’m certainly not a labour follower, in actual fact, I don’t think any of the current political parties are worthy of my vote, but that’s a rant for another time.

Thanks for reading
Craig xx

A grumble or two.

I have been quiet for a little while but there are a few issues in the media that have inspired me to write a new blog.

1) You may have seen on the news that the Deputy Prime Minister (Nick Clegg) has pledged EVEN more money to foreign aid. Click Here for story. Now I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This country MUST put an end to foreign aid to people that hate us. Our countrys’ economy isn’t strong enough to support itself or its long suffering population and giving EVEN MORE money away realy can’t do any good. Yes people are dieing and yes it’s very sad, however, these middle easter countries may be rich in oil and other natural rescourses but they are 500 yours behind the developed world when it comes to things like religeon and human rights.

How can we seriously deal with people who believe that it is acceptable to ‘honour kill’ rape victims or force children as young as 8 years old into marriage then stand idly by as they are taken to the marital bed and end up dieing from internal injuries.

2) I see the MURDERERS (I don’t give a toss about innocent until proven guilty in this case) of Lee Rigby have pleaded not guilty. (Click Here for story). What the hell is going on here. These vile animals now want to be know by their chosen Muslim names, well here’s an idea, lets not humour them with a choice, they didnt give Lee Rigby a choice so why the hell should they benefit from the system being in favour of supporting their human rights.

3) The Prime Minister has announced a £200 per year tax break for married couples. (Click Here for story). This guy is generous to a fault, imagine having £3.85 a week more to spend, the possibilities are endless, There’s no allowance for Widows or survivors from abusive maraiges mentioned though.

4) The Prime Minister also announced that a £200M a year cancer drug fund will be extended by a further 2 years with an extra £400M being made available. (Click Here for story). Why not use the £100M that Clegg has pledged to Syrian refugees to extend it for another 6 months.

There have been many other things that have caught my attention so a proper rant will no doubt be forthcoming soon.